I Have a Rumbly in my Tumbly

I have a rumbly in my tumbly sounds like a line from a Winnie the Pooh book but it has also played a roll in the last week of my life.



Let me explain.

I have been blessed my entire life with having my needs and most of my wants satisfied. I have a two parent household who has always been a great support system for me yet as the oldest child I have always felt the need to be self sufficient.

I am realizing now that my self proclaimed independence has put me into the position I am in financially.

I had the flu pretty severely at the beginning of the month of October which later gathered momentum when I discovered I had pink eye that developed from my germ infested sister who gave me both the flu and pink eye all in three weeks time.



I have two jobs that involve being around children and the general public, all of which did not allow me to look like a red eyed crack head nor a snot nosed sicko on the clock. Both pink eye and the flu caused me to miss work which has set me back greatly in the land of money.

My pay check Friday was embarrassingly minimal. Last week I barely ate and when I did it was a can of tuna for breakfast, corn for dinner, and maybe plain pasta for lunch. I scraped by with my pride intact as my friends around me saw my spirit dwindle.




I have lately felt ugly due to having pink eye and not really leaving the house because of the flu an lack of money.

I separated myself from all my friends because I felt I did not have the means physically or financially to do the things they could.

I have learned that a depressed version of myself is a miserable individual no one wants to hang out with.



I am trying to get my barrings back but am going to have to rough it for a few more weeks.

The good news is I made rent for next month, barely but everything else in my life is at the bare minimum and I wish I was not the independent older sibling who does not feel right about calling home and asking for money.

My little sister on the other hand who has never worked, can phone home anytime to get whatever hand out she can take.

I realize now I should have sandbagged the need for independence and acted like a average college student in need.



I now have a starving piggy bank and a hunger in my stomach, an empty bank account, a bare fridge, and canned goods that are down to Spam and weenies in a can.